The sun’s out. The champagne and strawberries sit ready on the covered table out by the pool, which is open and heated from May to September. And the pro chefs are on hand so all you need do is mess about making memories in the water. Wisteria Farmhouse, just eight miles from historic Bath, means serious playtime for 21 friends, family, hens, stags, kids and up to five dogs.
Relaxation’s not hard here across two luxuriously restored properties, including a Grade-II listed Georgian farmhouse. The luxury’s laid on thick and there’s fun at every turn. Set up a tennis tournament on the all-weather court or book a lesson with Henry, play Jenga or Kubb on the landscaped lawns, embedded in three acres of bucolic beauty, or walk the Wiltshire countryside from the door.
Keep the wider world envious with the 120mbps Starlink Wi-Fi, blast out your tunes on the Bluetooth, or go old school over the board games and log fires. Sleep soundly in ten bedrooms cocooned in topped Hypnos mattresses and professionally laundered percale linen. Move in, switch off, chill out. Rinse and repeat tomorrow.
Wisteria Farmhouse comes with three acres of lusciously landscaped grounds stolen from the outer edges of the Cotswolds escarpment. There’s not much to disturb the peace here apart from the ripples of the carp in the pond and the excited chatter of kids in the 11-metre outdoor pool open and heated to 28 degrees from May to September.
Eat out there on the patio with strawberries and champagne at the ready and sausages and steaks from The Shambles butchers seared on the gas barbecue. Stay out for garden-party fun over croquet, boules, football, Jenga or Kubb, and year-round tennis on the all-weather court. Walk the Wiltshire countryside with your dogs from the door.
Plenty of room here across two beautifully restored farmhouses to socialise or slide away to recharge the social battery, as the mood takes. The single-storey Coach House offers easy access and a log-lit communal area complete with Netflix TV and chatty, open-plan cooking, dining and living.
The Farmhouse comes with indoor-outdoor flow onto the patio and pool area and a lounge with open fireplace and plenty of seating for a night of Netflix streamed over the superfast Starlink broadband. Curl up with a good book beside the crackling fireplace or while away your evenings in the games room over the English pool table or adults’ and kids’ board games.
Marinate yourself in true country living as you create culinary masterpieces on the Farmhouse’s four-oven Aga and three-oven electric range in the Coach House. Fill up the three fridges with goodies from Bloomfield Fruit and Veg, Bath Farmers’ Market, Bunch of Bakes and Meat at The Shambles.
If you’d rather kick back and loll around in the pool, call up our pro chefs from Queen and Whippet for everything from an opulent dinner or catered celebration. Or book drop-off freezer meals from Cavendish Cooks prepared locally in their barn in Mells from fresh, quality ingredients.
But sometimes, only the pub will do. Warm up with a Negroni or Aviation in The Longs Arms in South Wraxall, then move on to citrus-cured monkfish or smoked salmon with yuzu yoghurt. Try the rabbit terrine at The George in Bradford-on-Avon. Or head to The Dog and Fox for classic pub grub with countryside views.
Get out to family-friendly Il Fiume for the riverside seating with bridge views and tasty Italian food. Enjoy pancake breakfasts or salt-and-pepper squid at The Bunch of Grapes. Or head to Ravello to be sold on the beautiful architecture as much as the mezze rigatoni and risotto con le cozze.
In this corner of rural Wiltshire, not much comes between you and your beauty sleep beyond the ripples on the pond and the rustling of wind through the oak boughs in the three-acre gardens. Pick from ten beautifully presented bedrooms sleeping 21 across the two properties and wrap yourself in percale linen.
In the Farmhouse, all rooms offer room for optional toddler floor bed and room for a cot. Beech offers a superking or twin beds and shares a bathroom with Birch, also a superking or twin. Ash is another superking or twin with an en-suite, as is Walnut, which shares a bathroom with Willow, a double with single bunk above. En-suite Oak is another superking or twin.
In the Coach House, you’ve four ground-floor, easy-access bedrooms. Wheat, Barley, Maize and Oats all provide superking or twin-bed accommodation. Barley and Maize share a large family bathroom, Wheat and Oats are en-suite. Most of the Coach Houses spacious bedrooms will take a cot.
What does it take to get kids excited about a holiday? Probably a sense of mystery. Drive them along ever-narrower country lanes just a couple of hours from London and try to keep quiet about what awaits – even though they’ll know it’s a big deal because, with 21 guests, you’ve brought most of home with you.
Stay silent about the 11-metre outdoor pool heated to a toasty 28 degrees and open from May to September. Don’t breathe a word about the games room with its pool table and board games. And definitely don’t mention the three acres of garden they’ll explore or the all-weather private tennis court within it.
How about the garden games? The Jenga, the Kubb (a sort of skittles), the football nets, the boules, the croquet, the cricket and the rounders? Or the summer barbies out on the patio by the pool, the Netflix on the smart TV in both houses? The superfast Starlink Wi-Fi to help them turn their mates green with envy? Keep quiet.
Bring the family dogs (up to five) to preserve that home-from-home feel and explore walks and trails from the door. Collapse at day’s end into luxury, family-friendly bedrooms, which can be set up as twin rooms prior to arrival, in less time than it takes to drift off in between the percale bedding and Hypnos mattresses. Ssh. Not a word.